How To Be An Anti-Social Justice Blog:

Step 1) Find a blog where a person of color (PoC) discusses racism. It doesn’t matter if they do it on a regular basis or not and it definitely doesn’t matter if they label their blog as a social justice blog. As a matter of fact, it’s probably best if you go for the blogs that are not labeled as social justice blogs.

Step 2) Completely derail one of their posts. Just go in there and completely miss the point. Make sure to mention that you “understand the point” but be sure to go in a completely different direction for several paragraphs. Some important things you must do while derailing are:

start with the phrase “I’m not racist, but”

put PoC in quotation marks and talk about how much you don’t see color

complain about their tone

ask them to explain simple concepts that can be found in a Google search

state how words don’t hurt people

state how saying cracker/bitch is “just as bad” as saying n**ger (If you’re a feminist, make sure to emphasize that saying bitch is worse than saying n**ger because it “oppresses all women equally”)

don’t censor n**ger

if you’re vegan, compare PoC and their oppression to livestock

if you have body mods, compare someone not liking your body mods to racism

if they mention slavery, tell them to get over it and/or tell them that Africans did it too

if you’re accused of racism, talk about your PoC friends/family/partners (black is the preferred race but any will do)

state how you’re no longer an ally because they were mean to you (it doesn’t matter if you really were an ally or not, just say it)

Step 3) Go to that person’s blog and send them messages covering the exact same topics discussed when you derailed their post. This is when the real fun starts! (Can be done anonymously or non-anonymously.)

Step 4) If they tell you to stop, don’t listen! Keep sending messages. Make sure your messages are peppered with stereotypes of their race, cultural appropriation, racial slurs, and borderline abusive language. Also, be sure to let them know that you’re enjoying their pain. If they block you, send anonymous messages to them or (if anon is turned off) make a secondary blank blog to send them messages from.

Step 5) When they begin to retaliate, go to your blog and start begging for sympathy. When making the post to appeal for sympathy, be sure to leave out what you did in steps 1-4. If it must be mentioned, simply state that all you did was reblog one of their posts and they “randomly” started being mean to you. (This may require you to delete the posts of your blog if they’re too incriminating.) Make sure to emphasize how depressed/suicidal you are but do not under any circumstances mention the mental/physical health of the PoC. Make them out to be an evil bully who wants you to die.

Step 6) Make passive aggressive/condescending posts about the PoC on your blog. Make sure to tag them in a few. You want to make sure that they see it.

Step 7) If the PoC finally gets fed up enough to post your IP address, threaten to call the police on them. Use that one post to “prove” how mean the PoC and all their friends are. Send it to tumblr support with a very good sob story. You can also use it to garner even more love and support from your friends while the PoC is bombarded with even more hate and vitriol.

Step 8) Follow them. It serves the dual purpose of creeping them out and allowing you to keep track of everything they say just in case you want to repeat this cycle at a later date.